7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

These are some thoughts from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And I start with this quote:

This is the true joy in life - that being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It's a sort of splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handling it on the future generations. ---- George Bernard Shaw

We continue to live and posses the "life" when we give service to others. It is the definition of our existence and, in effect, it gives us the purpose and the vitality to look forward to at each day's beginning. Inspiring and highly motivational for personal change and success, Stephen Covey's book showed me the way to what it takes to live and co-exist with the people around me. It gives the reader 7 steps to actually maintain the good life and not to miss the most important things that life has to offer in all its glory and imperfections too.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 1: Be Proactive

It simply promulgates that most of our insecurities and subsequent problems arise from our tendencies to be reactive. We tend to be emotional rather than logical on things. We allow the circumstances to control us in more ways than one – being affected by almost every single circumstance that rises – blaming our inefficiencies to the weather, genetics, conditions, and our family dynamics. Conversely, proactive people think the other way around. They don’t complain or make excuses, but they look for solutions or alternatives. They don’t blame circumstances; they look at things with intent. Their responses are controlled by their life’s missions and principles and not of their life’s scripts, people, circumstances and their past. In short, they are thinkers, shakers and movers and not mere complaining mouths.

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind

When one is guided by a clear vision of the end, he is more likely to achieve what he wants and less likely to be affected by conditions along the way. It is based on the principle that things are made in two ways – through the mental and physical. It suggests that, before anything else, one has to conjure a mental picture and practice the process so as to attain a “feel” of it. And secondly, ACT. Stephen Covey’s stated that people who are mentally prepared for the action are the ones who often succeed. A clear mission statement would serve as the constitution that will serve as the base of one’s decisions –more of a compass than a map that one can always refer to when decisions are hard to make.

Habit 3: Put first things first

While Habit 1 says you’re the driver of your life – you’re the boss, and Habit 2 as your vision for the journey, Habit 3 presents the idea of making priorities. What is of utmost importance should be on the top list, the rest that may not be as important for you would have the least priority. Things that have long-term effects are considered to be of utmost importance like health, family, relationships, mental and intellectual development – things that personally matter. Those less important things may include phone calls, board meetings, bills, money-making and the like.

Habit 4: Think win/win

This habit states that in every decision we make we should make it a point that we consider other people’s wishes as well. Win/Win is considered the most logical decision as it doesn’t put a bad feeling to either or both parties. It is the winning solution for every endeavor. Though, it may not be applicable to every situation, one can use compromise or even No deal in hopeless scenarios. One approaches a problem with win/win attitude when one utilizes three important traits – integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality. I like Covey’s definition of maturity – expressing one’s ideas and feelings in consideration of other people’s ideas and feelings. Integrity is being true to self and abundance mentality as the belief that there is plenty for everyone.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand and to be understood

Most of family or organizational problems rise from communication flaws and barriers. Our way of thinking is often affected by our perception of the matter. When there is no clear communication, the message is distorted or may not be expressed at all. The book suggests empathetic communication – being open to feelings and underlying message that the person talks about. Probing, advising, interpreting and prejudice are to be prevented so that communication in all its form can take place. Listening carefully and being open for the issue is a very effective way of communication – clear boundaries are presented, the message is completely given, trust is established, and solutions may be explored.

Habit 6: Synergize

It simply says that human beings are more productive when they are interdependent and less of being independent. It acknowledges the maxim “two heads are better than one.” It sheds light to the many things human beings can do when they come together. Solutions can be formulated in such a way that most, if not all, people can benefit from. It shows off the beauty out of diversity – that more people are there, the more contrasting their ideas, the more genuinely open they are, the better the chance of getting new insights. Differences are considered an asset, not a liability.

Habit 7: Sharpen the saw

It gives importance to the most important asset of all – YOU. The person. One has to improve on these areas - physical, mental, social and spiritual. By renewing the self, one doesn’t become stagnant, rather a more dynamic and growing person. Living life in balance, and that makes it living to the fullest, is a precursor to a better today and the future. When one values health, social environment, intellectual growth and spiritual development, one is actually becoming more prepared to the challenges and problems that lie ahead. In renewing one’s self, he is likely to make advancements and mastery of other six habits.

Why I like this book?

...Because it targets personal, professional and organizational growth. I, for one, always want to broaden my horizon and I believe that reading books that are worthwhile and catalysts for better change (7 Habits is inarguably one of them) are as important as eating the right food, taking a bath, and the like. It’s a guide for a better existence. Who doesn’t want to be effective, anyway?

I like 7 Habits because it taught me how to interdependently live with others without the risk of getting hurt and inflicting hurt on others. This is a wonderful book that can change a generation-long slavery to ineffective, dominating scripting that our ancestors have unconsciously inculcated in our family culture and personal values ( I must say, though, that there are also many, many worthwhile traits and lessons that they have given us).

It rejoices in diversity, personal differences, and human complexities – even transforming these to positive means are worth celebrating. The 7 Habits of Effective People aims to change perspectives, challenge long-standing dogmas, and present a highly-achievable track for success and good life.

I’m an instant fan of Stephen Covey. That’s for sure.