7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

These are some thoughts from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. And I start with this quote:

This is the true joy in life - that being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It's a sort of splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handling it on the future generations. ---- George Bernard Shaw

We continue to live and posses the "life" when we give service to others. It is the definition of our existence and, in effect, it gives us the purpose and the vitality to look forward to at each day's beginning. Inspiring and highly motivational for personal change and success, Stephen Covey's book showed me the way to what it takes to live and co-exist with the people around me. It gives the reader 7 steps to actually maintain the good life and not to miss the most important things that life has to offer in all its glory and imperfections too.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Habit 1: Be Proactive

It simply promulgates that most of our insecurities and subsequent problems arise from our tendencies to be reactive. We tend to be emotional rather than logical on things. We allow the circumstances to control us in more ways than one – being affected by almost every single circumstance that rises – blaming our inefficiencies to the weather, genetics, conditions, and our family dynamics. Conversely, proactive people think the other way around. They don’t complain or make excuses, but they look for solutions or alternatives. They don’t blame circumstances; they look at things with intent. Their responses are controlled by their life’s missions and principles and not of their life’s scripts, people, circumstances and their past. In short, they are thinkers, shakers and movers and not mere complaining mouths.

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind

When one is guided by a clear vision of the end, he is more likely to achieve what he wants and less likely to be affected by conditions along the way. It is based on the principle that things are made in two ways – through the mental and physical. It suggests that, before anything else, one has to conjure a mental picture and practice the process so as to attain a “feel” of it. And secondly, ACT. Stephen Covey’s stated that people who are mentally prepared for the action are the ones who often succeed. A clear mission statement would serve as the constitution that will serve as the base of one’s decisions –more of a compass than a map that one can always refer to when decisions are hard to make.

Habit 3: Put first things first

While Habit 1 says you’re the driver of your life – you’re the boss, and Habit 2 as your vision for the journey, Habit 3 presents the idea of making priorities. What is of utmost importance should be on the top list, the rest that may not be as important for you would have the least priority. Things that have long-term effects are considered to be of utmost importance like health, family, relationships, mental and intellectual development – things that personally matter. Those less important things may include phone calls, board meetings, bills, money-making and the like.

Habit 4: Think win/win

This habit states that in every decision we make we should make it a point that we consider other people’s wishes as well. Win/Win is considered the most logical decision as it doesn’t put a bad feeling to either or both parties. It is the winning solution for every endeavor. Though, it may not be applicable to every situation, one can use compromise or even No deal in hopeless scenarios. One approaches a problem with win/win attitude when one utilizes three important traits – integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality. I like Covey’s definition of maturity – expressing one’s ideas and feelings in consideration of other people’s ideas and feelings. Integrity is being true to self and abundance mentality as the belief that there is plenty for everyone.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand and to be understood

Most of family or organizational problems rise from communication flaws and barriers. Our way of thinking is often affected by our perception of the matter. When there is no clear communication, the message is distorted or may not be expressed at all. The book suggests empathetic communication – being open to feelings and underlying message that the person talks about. Probing, advising, interpreting and prejudice are to be prevented so that communication in all its form can take place. Listening carefully and being open for the issue is a very effective way of communication – clear boundaries are presented, the message is completely given, trust is established, and solutions may be explored.

Habit 6: Synergize

It simply says that human beings are more productive when they are interdependent and less of being independent. It acknowledges the maxim “two heads are better than one.” It sheds light to the many things human beings can do when they come together. Solutions can be formulated in such a way that most, if not all, people can benefit from. It shows off the beauty out of diversity – that more people are there, the more contrasting their ideas, the more genuinely open they are, the better the chance of getting new insights. Differences are considered an asset, not a liability.

Habit 7: Sharpen the saw

It gives importance to the most important asset of all – YOU. The person. One has to improve on these areas - physical, mental, social and spiritual. By renewing the self, one doesn’t become stagnant, rather a more dynamic and growing person. Living life in balance, and that makes it living to the fullest, is a precursor to a better today and the future. When one values health, social environment, intellectual growth and spiritual development, one is actually becoming more prepared to the challenges and problems that lie ahead. In renewing one’s self, he is likely to make advancements and mastery of other six habits.

Why I like this book?

...Because it targets personal, professional and organizational growth. I, for one, always want to broaden my horizon and I believe that reading books that are worthwhile and catalysts for better change (7 Habits is inarguably one of them) are as important as eating the right food, taking a bath, and the like. It’s a guide for a better existence. Who doesn’t want to be effective, anyway?

I like 7 Habits because it taught me how to interdependently live with others without the risk of getting hurt and inflicting hurt on others. This is a wonderful book that can change a generation-long slavery to ineffective, dominating scripting that our ancestors have unconsciously inculcated in our family culture and personal values ( I must say, though, that there are also many, many worthwhile traits and lessons that they have given us).

It rejoices in diversity, personal differences, and human complexities – even transforming these to positive means are worth celebrating. The 7 Habits of Effective People aims to change perspectives, challenge long-standing dogmas, and present a highly-achievable track for success and good life.

I’m an instant fan of Stephen Covey. That’s for sure.

What isn't good being a socialite?

IN Manila Standard Website the infamous Malu Fernandez wrote about blogging and its problems . As most of us know, she wrote (an insensitive) article in a lifestyle magazine - the bulk of it seemed to target OFWs - and eventually forced her to resign due to some sorts of pressure. (Now, Im insinuating here hehe). Anyway, the article is about the Gucci Gang, which an Australian blogger intended as a character assassination of his ex for the alleged theft and the cover-up of his ex's friends - most of them belonging to the social circle. I don't want to give the details as they are brutally shocking accusations with the intention to bring about bad publicity of the accused party. Here is the link for his blog, and a rebuttal of some sorts by Gibbs Cadiz All together now: SCHA.DEN.FREU.DE!. These posts make me realize that we sometimes need good gossip too. hehe

Why BLOG?

I am technically a newbie when it comes to blogging and everything that defines it. I may have started blogging since 2006 when I opened a friendster account upon my college classmates insistence and eventually started this blog, which has long since dead until I decided to have it resurrected this time in 2008, yet I am still learning from blogging. I seldom post and I don't give a damn to site traffic - I am not a spotlight addict nor a fan of AdSense. I blog for the purpose of just blogging - to keep those essays I made for, say, a Literature class or works I made out of inspiration (hehe), or make a written landmark, internet base for easy access, to some important events that transpired in my ordinary existence. Sure thing I write not to impress, but to express. I may have been tempted to make my posts as good as they can get and I doubt if they do, but those are mere experimentations of my creativity - a novice blogger and an average writer. Bloghopping, so they say, is like a time-killing technique for me. Recently, I started updating my blog as often as I can, make comments to some posts, and visit blogs that are worth reading, or at least, interesting, and learn from them. Blogging is, in fact, the child of boredom. I don't have much to do except read my nursing books in preparation for NCLEX, come May or June, watch TV, read my e-mails almost everyday, read the news through TIME.com, inquirer.net, and the like, read blogs, watch Youtube, play sports every afternoon, go out of town and enjoy the outdoors, and do some texting and chatting with college classmates and friends (who have been convincing me the longest to work in Manila and get my own dose of its toxic lifestyle). The list goes on and on. See, it's not really because I want to attract readers (I know I don't LOL) or what, I do blogging because I am a believer of good ol' diaries (hehe) or say, in a less corny term, journals. This is to leave imprints of my ordinary life, so when the time comes I can always look back at this blog's archives and reflect on what I have become.

ridiculously funny

It’s ridiculously funny. A year ago or so, we had Miss Carolina having a number of hits in Youtube due to her comical Q & A answer in Miss USA, now we have Philippine's bet.

I know it's a cheap issue to tackle, but I just can’t help it: While I think it's funny to see (thanks to Youtube) Bb Pilipinas candidate Janina San Miguel’s attempt to satisfy a question, it’s downright humiliating for the pageant’s organizers to include here in the top list in the first place. I don’t know about pageants, but I guess certain things are meant to be considered – beauty and brains, ikanga. Irony of all ironies is that she got a title. That makes it unforgivably insulting to the previous winners like Precious Lara Quigaman, Ruffa Gutierrez and many others who rightfully deserve the title. Whew! That blows my brain away. There are sensible and far-fetched discussions about this, in the web especially. And I’m not adding up on those. I won’t dwell on the scary side of things, so I’d just better laugh things out. *laugh out loud*

What-It-Takes-To-Be-A-Little-More-Patient

"Better three hours too soon than a minute too late."

William Shakespeare

Today I am supposed to meet someone for a business-related (not really) matter. We agreed through SMS messaging that we are meeting today at 4 o’clock in a university here in Bacolod. With a little chill, I arrived a little late due to heavy downpour, send her SMS that I am waiting at the lobby, and played some game in my Motorola phone. After 15 minutes, I called her up, but she hasn’t answered it. I stayed there, occasionally walked down the hall, read the school bulletin, and played more games. An hour of waiting and a couple of missed calls made me think there could be some glitches in this planned meeting. Maybe she forgot it, or maybe she’s in the middle of her law class, or maybe she’s asleep – I was thinking of those things. I wasn’t sure. I was bored, though, remarkably, I was not impatient.

One thing I am happy about is that I have succeeded in my attempt to be more considerate. *pathetic* I learned to embrace one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of being effective – be proactive and not reactive, to never allow the weaknesses of others and the situation to overcome myself. Having believed that time is of utmost important, I was amazed that I was not irritated at all, considering that, back then in college, I usually lose temper when people arrive late in an appointment, say, a group meeting. I have always believed that there’s no excuse for being late, giving excuses just shows up a façade of an immature attempt to cover one’s inefficiency. After much waiting of more than an hour, I decided to call it quits. As I was on my way home, she texted me and even told me why I haven’t waited long enough. Shuffling feathers isn’t my type, so I simply replied that I waited enough and informed her that will be meeting the next Saturday.

After all been said and done, what’s funny is that I ended up buying pencils in National Bookstore.

P. S. Do wish me luck when we meet again :-)

****

And I quote one of my favorite writers:

“I discovered that my obsession for having each thing in the right place, each subject at the right time, each word in the right style, was not the well-deserved reward of an ordered mind but just the opposite: a complete system of pretense invented by me to hide the disorder of my nature. I discovered that I am not disciplined at of the virtue but as a reaction to my negligence, that I appear generous in order to conceal my meanness, that I pass myself off as prudent because I am evil-minded, that I am conciliatory in order not to succumb to my repressed rage, that I am punctual on only to hide how little I care about other peoples time. I learned, in short, that love is not a condition of the spirit but a sign of the zodiac.”

---Memories of my Melancholy Whores (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)

# 1 TAG by Gian Paolo

***Ive been tagged by Gian Paolo, the first tag I had. I couldn't have known it since i missed to read the last part of his post - until he left that message in the board. Anyways, here is it***

How will you seriously answer someone in the following situations given?
what if someone (a stranger) insults you or tells you this...

01. ang arte mo! (You're vain!)

AKo ba? *innocent look*

02. mas matalino naman ako sayo! (I am smarter than you!)

Uhmmm.. Ok.

03. crush ako ng crush mo? (Your crush has a crush on me.)

sino ba ang crush ko na alam mo? *flashes an irritated smile*

04. ang bobo mo pala sa math! (I didn't know you are stupid when it comes to math)

Uhmm.. oo nga.

05. bilisan mo naman! (Faster!)

Fuck off!

06. ang sungit mo! (You are so snotty!)

Who cares if i am?

07. gusto mo ng away? (Do you want a fight?)

Do I look like I want one, huh?

08. takot ka ata sakin eh? (You're afraid of me, aren't you?)

*looks pathetically and go away.... just slowly*

09. mas mahal niya ko! (He/she loves me more than you!)

*pa-cute look lang*

10. ang bababa naman ng mga grades mo! (Your grades are so low!)

HUh? saan ba grades ko?

What if sinabi ito sa'yo ng crush mo? (What if your crush tells you these?)

01. crush kita. (I have a crush on you.)

*blushes* and ask 'sure ka ba?'

02. hindi kita mahal. (I do not love you.)

Pero mahal kita.

03. mahal na kita. (I love you.)

Mahal din kita, sabay halik LOL

04. pakopya naman ng assignment. (Can I copy your homework?)

Heto.

05. crush ko un friend mo (I have a crush on your friend.)

Tulungan pa kita e.

06. pwedeng patabi sa upuan? (May I sit beside you?)

Sure. *innocent smile* then eventually talk things out para ma-date LOL

07. pwede mo ba akong isaya? (Can you dance with me?)

ganun? hmmm... try natin.

08. feeling ko may gusto ka sakin. (I have this feeling that you love me.)

Paano mo nalaman na may feeling ako sa yo? (Mahirap magpa-buking agad, hirap na baka ma-busted)

09. ang cute mong mag-smile. (You're so cute when you smile.)

*flashes the nicest smile in the world* LOL

10. bakit ang bait mo sakin? (Why are you so kind to me?)

Heto lang talaga ako. (pa-humble para cool ang dating)

******

Di muna ako magtag kasi nga medyo kakaunti pa mga connections ko sa blogger world LOL. Maybe when I have a lot more blog followers.

I just had watched The Spiderwick Chronicles, a fascinating and entertaining movie for all kids asnd children by heart.

uhmm.. i'm so damn tired so maybe i'll post some more tomorrow or the days to come.lol

DANTE'S (and my) Prayer

HEre is a wonderful song by Loreena McKennitt that I truly love to listen these days. It's quite a different musical genre - it's actually soothing and very heart-warming. This is made as a prayer to the Almighty, but i think it's also for friends and family. Friends because they are the ones who make my lives happier and better, and family because they continue to make my life extraordinary through the values and life lessons that I learn through them. This I also dedicate to a few people who has gone beyond to shore - my grandparents who I never really truly know because of early deaths, family friends, and maybe, those missed opportunities that I have so recklessly ignored.

Here is the lyrics:

DANTE' PRAYER

When the dark wood fell before me

And all the paths were overgrownW

hen the priests of pride say there is no other way

I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see

Though you came to me in the night

When the dawn seemed forever lost

You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean

Cast your soul to the sea

When the dark night seems endless

Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me

By the deep well of desire

From the fountain of forgiveness

Beyond the ice and the fire

Though we share this humble path, alone

How fragile is the heart

Oh give these clay feet wings to fly

To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart

Lift this mortal veil of fear

Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears

We'll rise above these earthly cares

Please remember me

Please remember me.

RANDOM THINGS I GET BY GETTING SUNBURNED

Why getting sunburned is as bad as a tooth pain during your own party?

BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME...

* of pain in the past (LOL)

* that no matter how many clouds are there to hide the sun, ultra violet rays will still seep through to reach me down below and cut out through my skin.

* of climate change and that so much has changed in our world. (Yeah, I'm a self-proclaimed environmentalist - thanks to Archie Lim and Razcel Jan Salvarita). I wonder as to how the sun increased its heat or, i should say, the extent of damage industrial and man-made pollutions has caused to the earth's ozone layer.

* of failed romances made by the beach (wahaha) and failed attempt to restore them.

* that swimming is still the best cardiovascular exercise, though, I am worse at it, not because I don't know how to swim, but because proximity to a swimming pool hinders me from doing so. Maybe one day when I can convince dad or myself that I need one.

* of Marla, my college classmate, who told me once on our way to the beach that I need to apply sun protection lotion of more than SPF 35. though, i never really listened to her. i didn't buy her idea then, not until today.

* that wearing sando out in the sun in an early morning, like 8 or 9 am, is a crime. The prickly sensation and that spicy feeling will make one suffer for at least 3 days.

* that shooting some baskets under the unseemingly scorching heat of the sun after midnoon would be a naturally stupid thing to do.

* AND lastly, it reminds me of mortality, my humanity, my vulnerabilty to pain and everything that life can give. Kaya salamat at na sunburn ako. :-)

***picture taken from FLICKR

Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel Live - he gets angry as hell

Matt Damon gets blown off by Guillermo at red carpet event